18, 01, 2018
First dates for the majority of people are a minefield of pressurised moments from the decisions before the date has begun like what to wear and where you should go. Once you get there you have to worry about whether there will be any awkward silences or if they like you too, and for some of us we are waiting to see whether we will get that kiss at the end of the date.I have always looked at the kiss at the end of a date as a confirmation as to whether the guy likes me and if the date was successful. I’ve only ever been on one first date where I haven’t kissed the guy and despite having what I thought was a great date it ended with just a hug and a “nice to meet you” and he then went on to completely ghost me and so that only backed up my thoughts on the whole situation.
I never really thought about anyone else thinking any differently on this subject until I was chilling out at my friends recently watching First Dates and the topic of first kisses came up. My friend completely surprised me by saying that she never kisses on the first date and I in turn threw her off guard when I saw I always kissed on the first date (we’ll ignore ghost boy). So at a crossroads with our thoughts we did what any good millennials would do and took to my Twitter to see what others felt about first date kisses.
I ran a poll for two days asking what people had experienced on a first date with the options being ‘Always kiss on the first date’ ‘Never kiss on the first date’ and ‘I’ve had both happen’. My friends and I got very invested and loved seeing how the percentages stacked up with it came to a close today.The poll had a total of 160 votes and the overall winner was ‘Ive had both happen’ and when I asked people why they voted that particular choice I had a few people who were happy for me to publish their opinion on my blog.
Jessie, the writer of Jessie’s Journal, had the following to say “In regards to kissing on the first date discussion. I think it’s completely up to you and how you feel and whether you’re comfortable and click enough, however saying that, I have had amazing first dates, where there’s not been a kiss involved and in both cases I felt a more like really good friends with them. One of them is my current boyfriend but I mis-took our first date for just friends hanging out instead of a date, maybe because there wasn’t any sort of ‘intimacy’. Thank you! It’s kind of just an expectation isn’t it? Like it just happens at the end of the date to solidify your attraction to them and to say you had a good time but then again, you can definitely feel almost forced to because of the expectation.”
Not only was she lovely enough to message and let me know her thoughts, she also spoke to her boyfriend about it so we could get an opinion from the opposite sex. He said “It’s all about judgement of the situation and emotions. Sometimes kissing on the first date can make you appear to eager and that you want it to much. But on the contrary it can also represent your feeling and attraction for that person. I always thinks a kiss is a possibility if the date goes well but not a certainty and if it didn’t happen, he would probably wonder why but that it wouldn’t drive him away.”
A friend on Twitter @MissLundgaard was on my side of the fence with her thoughts being “I always kiss on the first date. Except once because he was THAT bad. But if I’m potentially interested, I need to know if they’re a good kisser ASAP because I’m not wasting my time on a washing machine”. As someone who has had the displeasure of kissing someone who thought their tongue was a washing machine on rapid wash I could not agree more, and if he’s a bad kisser what else is he bad at?! What, someone had to say it right!
My work husband was of course fully against my side and said “If you don’t kiss on the first date it can leave them wanting more and give you both a reason to agree to a second date” to which I replied saying the one non kiss first date never lead to a second date so he was wrong (amongst other things) and then as always we were told to stop bickering like a married couple and get on with work.
So whilst my opinion hasn’t actually changed on the topic and I’ll still be there expecting that end of date kiss. But maybe if it doesn’t happen now I’ll at least leave it more than 5 minutes before texting every single one of my girlfriends, and my two gay husbands, telling them how I’m not getting a second date before they all tell me not to overreact and give it a day or two… In the words of Cher Horowitz AS IF, I’ll 100% stay the exact same won’t I.